A few years ago, a friend asked me:
"What do you value more – trust or loyalty?”
I'd never thought about it.
A small business owner, she said she had to fire her most loyal employee because she no longer trusted him.
She didn't doubt his loyalty. He showed up for work, performed his duties well, put in extra hours.
But she no longer trusted him to model the company values of respect and collaboration and integrity. He treated colleagues poorly, and he was unreliable in client-facing situations.
The anguish as she told this story was plain to see. He was committed, excellent at his job, and had been there almost since the beginning.
But it was time to let him go.
So she did.
Since that conversation, I've thought more about trust.
I like this definition from Charles Feldman:
Trust is “choosing to make something important to you vulnerable to the actions of someone else.”
In my friend's case, her business was her life, her baby, her creation. She was no longer willing to make it vulnerable to the actions of this person.
The people I trust are the people who hear me, celebrate me, include me, and love me for who I am.
The people who challenge me to do better. Who allows me to thrive. Who makes me feel like I belong.
Those are the people I trust. How about you?