"When potential allies express a concern that another person's anger is getting in the way of them hearing, they need to look inward and ask some difficult questions."
– Myisha Cherry
Questions like:
What do I not know about this person's circumstances?
Why am I triggered by the tone of voice this person is using?
Why do I insist on this person sharing their concerns in a way that is palatable for me?
How am I upholding dominant cultural norms, the status quo, White supremacy, and systemic inequity by suggesting or demanding that someone express themselves in a "softer" way?
Why am I unable or unwilling to appreciate that this person has every right to be angry?
What do I not know about the history of oppression and marginalization that is preventing me from hearing this person's point of view?
Why am I making this about me?
Why am I taking this personally?
What assumptions am I making about this person, their background, their circumstances, their story, their everything?
How might this person feel if I listened to them speak without asking them to change their tone or approach?
How might I contribute to a more equitable world for everyone if I were able to consistently sit with uncertainty and push through any discomfort I am feeling?
How might I do better?
How might I be better?