Ted and I bonded easily over surfing stories, songwriting exchanges, and meditation.
We never talked politics, but I assumed we had similar views. I was wrong.
We came up with a plan to explore our differences by way of a two man book club.
I selected a book for us to read. We'd discuss. He selected a book to read. We'd discuss. Etc.
Seemed simple, but it devolved quickly. I thought the books he chose were ridiculous. He thought the books I chose were ridiculous.
We let each other know our thoughts with increasing incivility.
Snark, sarcasm, unfiltered opinions from biased and partisan sources became the norm.
Learn from each other? Not so much. Treat each other with respect? Nope. Validate the other person's views? Hardly.
Drive our friendship bus off a cliff and obliterate it in the rocky canyon below? Absolutely.
For three years we didn't talk. No surfing stories. No new song lyrics. No shared quiet meditations.
Just bitterness. Resentment. Sardonic mockery. Acerbic righteousness.
A submission to incivility as an acceptable form of interaction.
And a deep unwillingness to self-reflect and see the bigger picture.
We did eventually recover. We learned a lesson.
I still share my views. I'm just no longer willing to be a dick about them.
With Ted or anyone else.