"Some people get so absorbed in expressing their own opinions that they lose sight of how they affect others."
– Adam Grant
I used to be a jerk. Self-righteous. Sarcastic. Acerbic.
Firmly rooted in the bomb-throwing stage of the revolution.
I was so attached to my perspectives and ideas that when I hurdled them at others with vitriol a part of me was hurdled too.
People were put off. People didn't listen. People didn't care what I thought. I was ineffective.
I was easily dismissed, scoffed at, ignored, mocked, condescended to. Which just made me push ahead with the same approach with more vigor and determination.
More bitterness. More resentment.
I took this approach for a good seven or eight years.
But I don't go about it that way anymore.
I've come to realize that I took this approach because I was insecure. Immature. Undeveloped. Not grounded in my articulated values and principles. I was just winging it most of the time.
I was excited and politicized by what I was learning and before I let the knowledge sink in and become part of my essence, I threw it indiscriminately at others like a monkey flings its shit at the zoo.
Now, I'm much more effective. I still care just as much. I still have strong opinions.
I'm just more mindful of how I might be received.