In elementary school, the short John Stockton-style shorts were fine.
But in middle school they became a problem. I was aware I was putting off a loser, nerdy vibe. And others were too. So they teased and bullied me.
To complicate the problem, we didn't have the money to buy the longer surfer shorts.
We had an accordion envelope at home with about twenty slots: groceries, rent, haircuts, gasoline, water bill, etc.
Every payday my mom divvied up the cash into the slots according to what was due.
We had a "spending money" slot, but it rarely had much in it. It took months to save up the $35 needed to buy the surfer shorts.
Then I wore them just about every day in seventh and eighth grade.
I don't know if they made me any cooler, but I must have been perceived to be cooler because I stopped getting teased.
We've all been excluded, othered, bullied, marginalized, oppressed, made to feel less than.
And it sucks. Every single time.
It saps our motivation. It stifles our productivity. It destroys trust and connection. And it smashes our creativity with a sledgehammer, shattering it into a million useless pieces.
The worst part is that this behavior isn't confined to middle schoolers.
Adults with influence and power and visibility do it too.
That's why we do the work.