In the spring of 1999 I had my first experience with mindfulness meditation.
My dad, sick with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, joined a small meditation circle in the Duboce Triangle area of San Francisco.
I tagged along about a half dozen times when I visited the city.
Karen Van Dine led the circle in a yoga studio on Sanchez Street – a huge room with hardwood floors and big skylights.
At first I found it boring and uncomfortable – and funny that my dad always fell asleep.
But when he died in the fall of 2000, I realized that the calmness, stillness, and awareness I experienced in those meditation circles helped me stay present with my emotions.
The equanimity allowed me to more fully experience the sadness and loss and uncertainty – without getting attached to those emotions.
I have cultivated a mindfulness practice ever since. I constantly strive to be in a state of equanimity so I can more fully experience and better understand all that is happening around me, and to me.
So I can observe without reacting or judging.
So I can be more empathetic, curious, inclusive.
So I can stay human, awake, connected to myself and others.
I practice mindfulness not as a response to uncertainty, but as preparation for its inevitability.
It sure is coming in handy right now.