In 2016, my friend Franky Fuentes turned me on to the book The Four Agreements.
It's been a foundational framework for my work and life ever since. I highly recommend it for people who are interested in building inclusive cultures of belonging.
The Four Agreements are:
1. Be impeccable with your word.
"Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean."
Speak with love. Be authentic. Be intentional. Be truthful. Be courageous. Be humble. Be mindful. Be inclusive.
2. Don't take anything personally.
”Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering."
Knowing this helps you absorb criticism and attacks on your character with equanimity and non-judgment.
3. Don't make assumptions.
"With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life."
Always lead with curiosity. Adopt a beginner's mindset. It keeps you out of a lot of needless drama and conflict.
4. Always do your best.
"Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret."
Seemingly trite. And incredibly powerful. Self-love and self-empathy are the foundation for loving and empathizing with others.