I suspect the reason we find it difficult to lead with empathy is because we believe empathy implies weakness or deficiency.
I have empathy for people who feel that way.
And, it is wrong.
Empathy is perhaps the most powerful, effective, and courageous demonstration of strength there is.
What is weak about witnessing another person's truth?
What is weak about imagining what it's like to be in someone else's shoes?
What is weak about non-judgment?
What is weak about staying present while someone is vulnerable with you?
Empathy is not agreement. It is not validation. It is not sympathy. Or pity.
Empathy is not an action; being empathetic is a default way of being. When we embody empathy we are more readily able to act compassionately – especially in difficult conversations.
You can deliver critical feedback compassionately. Demote someone compassionately. Fire someone compassionately.
If you embody empathy.
If you don't embody empathy as a default position, then when you have those difficult conversations, people will probably just think you're a dick.
And I would have empathy for them.